Not a day passes when I don’t think about my two sons, Ben and Jonny, and my grandson, Rhys.
How
was Jonny able to exclude me from his life over so many years, years
when I had life-threatening operations, illnesses and a stroke?
Not long before I was expelled by Maria as grandfather Jonny wrote this to me .. “just wanted to write to you to say that I love you and also to say that there really isn't an issue between you and me.”
Earlier he wrote this to me … “You make Maria so happy I think you complete something she missed out on.. and not in a needy way but in a really positive way. The money you gave us rescued us and made this life possible and now this baby will make our family even more. …I am so blessed and you are so responsible for my strength, Anne too. Please express to her how much we love her and hope she is happy to be a grandmother.”
After my 'expulsion' Jonny wrote this in an email to a mutual friend ... “David took me to Bosnia where I was once beaten by many Croatian police who hospitalized me, I had guns put to my head multiple times and once someone fired a gun next to my right ear and I lost 20% of my hearing … For years now Anne has been spitting venom at my mother and both her and David have actively worked on making me hate my mother ** ... My father has a long history of bad behavour, he was arrested multiple times, he jumped from job to job and was financially unstable his entire life … He is hothead and I can't have him near my child … David comes from a long line of abusive drunks … The doctors told him the reason behind his brain issues were because he was heavily drinking since the 60s. He was an alcoholic and depressive before I was born … Anne is a bully she is horrid person, she orders David around and belittles and attacks him verbally … she is one of the most selfish people on this planet … David and his father were upper middle class entitled ponces, yeah he pretends to be a communist socialist lefty, but the fact is he comes from a very well of family that afforded him the time to waste his youth … David NEEDS to see a psychiatrist .”
Maria didn’t like me or Anne from the start. Indeed Jonny told me that he had told her not to destroy his family. There then followed my expulsion as Rhys’ grandad because I had ‘taken Jonny into a war zone’. After my visit to Jonny and Maria in New Orleans she claimed I had chased hookers there.
After Maria 'sacked' me as grandfather I never heard from Jonny again, not even when I was in hospital close to death.
When I am not here to defend myself, when I am no longer able to have even the possibility of contact with my grandson, when I am dead, I hope Jonny will be told that I never stopped loving him.
David
NOTE: I lived as long as I did with the love and support of my wife Anne, my son Ben and sisters, Liz and Joanna, my Mostar ‘son’ Oha, Masa and family, Teo and close friends, Eileen, Anthea, Jane, Trish and Alaistair, Maureen, Sebastian and Grainne, and Deicola. Andrea Rice, Ben's carer, has been supportive, not just of Ben, but of me as well. There are others who left before me – Alice, Gerry, Robin, Ken.
The Love that’s deep within me
Shall reach you from the stars
You’ll feel it from the heavens
And it will heal the scars
- anon
Additional correspondence:
Jonny
to David: 21
January 2003 ... Dear
David,
please
don't worry things are not as bad as they seem.The
main point is that we finish every argument with love and with some
sort of closure... Me and Nada (JONNY’S
BOSNIAN
FIRST
WIFE)
never finish arguments bad but we both have faults... My main thing
is a take things to serious, there is not such a big problem with
Nada's
mum but basically I over interprit shit..… As for demon weed, the
last time I smoked it was saturday morning which is part of the
problem,,, but I don't need it.. Our characters show by how we deal
with stress and I don't deal with it well.. The main point is when
nada's mum had a go at me she was right about everything but also I
think arguments are never dealt with in this way with her family so
it is strange for her... I just hope she is cool with us... I don't
want her to feel bad about being with us, even if the dali lama was
sleeping over I'd get a bit miffed after a week... My problem is not
her sleeping in our room (WHEN
HIS MUM-IN-LAW WAS IN LONDON FROM BOSNIA)
but that since last sunday i haven't had 1 minute of my wife's time,
I have had to call her at week to talk in private Nada's mums really
felt that it was wrong to have that argument at your place, and it
probably was I am very sorry... And I am selfish as well..DJing and
all that is no where near as important to me as nada and I would work
in a factory if it was the only way I could keep her.... so don't
worry we have no wish to be a part but I must learn to deal with
myself not just because of Nada
but because of the way interact with everybody.… Also please don't
feel renata is responsible for anything, she has really changed and I
love her as well and a lot of my problems are exactly that, my
problems, they are there because I created them... Whatever blame we
like to put on our parents it's still me that has been alone all this
time dwelling on bad thoughts... Renata and you are good parents and
you should never feel guilty for the way you raised me and Ben,
we are both good people....I love you and Anne and I thank you both
very much for the way you dealt with our inbalance.I am sorry. Take
Care, Love, Jonny
Jonny to Anne: 28 May 2007 ... hey Anne, thank you so much for each treatment, i really owe you. Acupuncture has been the only thing that has given me a very real sense of changing for the better. I regard you as healer way above that of a doctor. Much Love, Jonny
Jonny to Ben:13 May 2014 …when the divorce was happening Renata said David had sexually abused me, but all that aside i need to explain something to you about the divorce when Renata and David divorced I was 14 and you were 18 or older in the divorce David got 20,000 quid ish which represented about 5% of the family assets i then went to live with David , and even though I was the only child in the family at time (child being defined as someone younger then 18) David and I were awarded 5% of the family assets where as you and Renata got 95% so the reason David agreed to this was because Renata said she needed all that money for you and David wanting you to have a cushion in life agreed with the plan but Renata has ripped you off i'm afraid she is now keeping all the money to herself and giving you a small trickle to live on the actual fact of the matter is Renata legally agreed to support you by taking all of the families assets so it's none of my business because I took the 5% and Renata being consistently angry with me as a sign i should step away from our family and i must say i am more happier because of it BUT you have way more money then you think you do you are actually potentially a millionaire it's just the person who is safeguarding your money is being well dodgy please feel free to ask any questions if my explanation wasn't clear enough ….At some point you can ask her for the money you are owed … and you have at least a few hundred thousand … Think about it, she bought a house in cash in Cornwall … imagine how much she has sitting around … that's your money … because you were ill Renata was entrusted with all the assets because of you … she didn't get most of the money because she super cool or beat David at Scrabble … she got all the money because of you … and now she is keeping your money from you.
20 May 2014: Jonny to David ... I can assure you Renata is crazy ...she's just not smart enough to see how she is projecting her hate rather then handling it … but anyone who says any of this is your fault is just lying and i know it's really hard but you should try to let it just roll off your back and not let it get you down because she's mental and your not … Renata must be counting her blessings that she doesn't have to put up with any snotty little mix raced children ( MARIA HIS WIFE IS MECICAN-AMERICAN)… Fuck that bitch … I fucking hate her … the only blessing she has now is not hearing that i despise her … fuck her and all this hatred she put on me from such a young age … and I want our family to be something Rhys runs back to , not away from … but she needs to be fixed because she is broken
30 May 2014: Jonny to David ... Malcolm and Renata need a world view with a horizon blocking their way because it is their safety ... sticking to the family home of memories, not having close relationships where friends can question your world view … to them keeping close minds is a neccessity for them … but they have money and cushions and a palace ... people like Malcolm and Renata need to be shut down the same way Halliburton needs to be shut down ... they are feeding very bad things into the universe.
POSTSCRIPT
After coming across this photo of Jonny and Maria sitting outside a Barcelona café in July 2022 I wrote an email to Jonny, Maria and Renata. I doubt any of them read it, so here it is
Dear Jonny, Maria and Renata
It was great to see this photo of Jonny - and looking so well. People have remarked how much he looks like me. Sorry about that!
Isn’t it time - after more than seven years - for peace to be declared? But first of all Jonny, Maria and Renata need to explain why terrible lies have been said about me.
I present two for each of you. There are many more than two!
RENATA
1. David abused Jonny. (She may now deny this was said, but when I met Aunt Mirijana in Zagreb before she died, she confirmed it and said, “If Renata’s mother, Nada, was alive, she would have put a stop to Renata and Ivo spreading lies around Zagreb about you, David”.)
2. David sold War Child trucks to the Bosnian army. (Check The Guardian, Ch 4 news and “Left Field’ for the truth).
MARIA
1. David ‘took Jonny to a war zone. (He came to be with me to get away from his mother, four years after the war ended and with Brian Eno. This started his music career)
2. David chased hookers in New Orleans. (i was in fact trying to give money to an old black guy begging on the street)
JONNY
1. David was always getting arrested. (the only arrest that led to court was at Grunwicks, supporting Asian women pickets and I was found NOT guilty and discharged)
2. David comes from a long line of drunks. (Name them and given Jonny’s drug history, pots and kettles come to mind).
Jonny gets a bonus lie and perhaps it's the worst of all of them. My son tells people that, "My dad and I have no contact with each other." Over nearly eight years I have sent him numerous emails, Skype messages and have had friends contact him on my behalf. SILENCE At least he should tell the truth. "I refuse to have contact with my dad."
If you can face the truth about me in place of these lies, we can face the future together. I'’m not angry, but when I look at that photo, very, very sad.
My new book, ‘My World Café, will be published in November. Jonny and Renata are featured, but only in a positive and loving way. You can check it out at www.davidwilson.org.uk
Love to you all,
David x
